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In the past, and even today, a traditional Vietnamese
person would comply with most or all of these customs:
The
family is the basis of society, not the individual.
- Three to four
generations often live together in one home.
- The family
is patriarchal. Within the family, the wife deals
with all household matters, and the husband deals
with the outside world.
- Elderly parents
are supported by married or unmarried children until
death.
- Names are
written in the order of Family name, Middle name
and Given name, e.g., Nguyen Van Trung. The family
name is placed first to emphasise a person's heritage.
- Children live
with their parents until marriage. Males usually
marry between the ages of 20 and 30, and females
between the ages of 18 and 25.
- Marriages
must be approved by the parents of both the male
and female. This is true regardless of age (this
is traditional, not a legal requirement).
- Apart from
some Christians, the celebration of marriage takes
place in the home of one of the marriage participants
or a hotel, not in a church or temple.
- Legally, women
keep their own names after marriage.
- After marriage,
the wife lives with her husband's family. She is
considered to ‘belong’ to her husband's
family and expected to do the housework under the
direction of her mother-in-law.
- Before 1959,
Vietnamese men could have several wives (polygamy)
ranked according to responsibility. Thereafter,
only one spouse remained married to the husband
and second or subsequent marriages were dissolved.
- When a child
is born, it is considered one year old.
- The eldest
son has a duty to perform ancestor worship at home.
- Brothers and
sisters do not touch or kiss one another.
- If a parent
dies, the children customarily wait three years
before marrying.
- If a wife
dies, the husband must wait one year before remarrying.
- If a sibling
dies, the others must wait one year to marry.
- To show respect,
Vietnamese people bow their heads before a superior
or aged person.
- While conversing,
Vietnamese people don’t look steadily at a
respected person's eyes.
- Women do not
shake hands with each other or with men.
- Women do not
smoke in public.
- Vietnamese
never touch another's head. Only the elderly can
touch the head of a young child.
- Persons of
the same sex may hold hands in public and/or sleep
in the same bed without public derision.
- Incest is
punished by law and is strongly resented by society.
- The legal concept
of equality between the sexes is the same as in
Western countries, but socially, man is still considered
superior to woman.
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